Britishness

I often ask myself about my Britishness. I mean like how British am I?
I had a scone the other day and my mother wouldn't let me put jam and cream on it without have a cup of tea so as to make it a cream tea. This at the moment is the level of Britishness that I believe I have reached.

A little while ago the guardian released a British Citizenship Quiz, which is basically a series of 10 questions about 'British' things, such as "Who is the patron saint of Scotland?" and "What is the second largest party in the house of commons called?". To me this is not what makes a person British, I don't really know the history of this country and I have lived here my whole life. Just before writing this post I took the quiz and got 5 out of 10. WHAT THE FUCK! This quiz has the nerve to tell me that I am only half British.
To me being British is not that I know the history of my country or the fact that my memory is bad enough that I don't remember the Queens Jubilee. Being British is different for everybody, for me, being British is my ability to laugh at this video because of just how true it is:

Its the fact that we are so different that there is a YouTube channel dedicated to the different things we do. No matter how cringe worthy it is! This is just one video from the channel and the first one I had the - I don't want to pleasure - but pleasure to watch.

When watching this video, I had to actually pause the video multiple times just to obscenely jester at the screen at the stupidity of not the presenter but the way she is talking like she is talking to a new born baby or a fucking alien from not only a different planet but a different bloody universe!

I'm going to stop talking now as I am just getting more and more irritated by this post! and will soon end up on a rant about shit that has nothing to do with this!

Next time on Thapsal I'm going to try and not rant about something!

Have a good one...

Penguins

Sorry there was no post yesterday my sisters new phone was coming and my mum was out so I spent the day downstairs playing with the dogs waiting for the door bell to ring. That sounds really sad but its true. Anyway so I spent the day downstairs which means that I didn't have access to my computer hence no post.

And now on to the actual post...

The penguin; a marker of youth.
Whether you automatically think of the flightless bird from Antarctica or the chocolate covered bar from Mcvitie's our childhood was/is filled with penguins.

The true staple of being a child is the ever present ability to laugh at the terrible jokes on the back of a chocolate bar. Or to look at it the other way to grow up is to gain the ability to keep a straight face when someone reads a joke off of the back of a penguin.

I know for example that non of my forensics class has grown up, this includes the 40 something teacher, because a friend of mine brings out penguin bar and read the joke:

"Why are penguins so hard to get along with?

Because they are always fishing for compliments."

The fact that my entire forensics class at college, so most of them are 17, laughed at this joke should tell you something. We are not ready for the real world.

but then I turn round to my family and read the joke:

"Why can't penguins fly?

Because they are covered in chocolate."

My dad and brother did nothing, my sister said the answer at the same time as me and my mother said that it would make more sense  if it said that they where chocolate bars not just covered in chocolate.

 

Something that is always constant about our love for penguins is that if we go to a zoo with penguins we will spend the longest time watching them. Some zoos have got around this - the crowd around the penguins - by having the penguins live in an enclosed building so that you can only see them if you do in. and putting conveyer belts round the enclosure so that you can't loiter and stop other people from seeing the penguins.

 

 

I have a question for you...do you still laugh at penguin jokes? Are you one of the few that could care less about going to see penguins when going to a zoo?

Don't worry you won't be judged...I'm just intrigued.

 

Have a good one...

Imagine a world...

So I was talking to my friend the other day right and she turns round and says, "Imagine a crappy world, you know imagine a world where something in time has gone wrong." So I say "okay, I have my world." and she says now describe it to me, what's wrong with it, why is it shit?
"I can't describe it to you" I say "But I can show it to you." and she's like "but you have no artistic skill what so ever". And after some creative banter that was hilarious but probably wont be out of context (sort of inside joke type things), she says "No but seriously how are you going to show it to me?"
At this I raise my hands out to the sides of me and say "Look around...This is my crappy word I imagined, in this world something in the space time continuum has gone wrong because this cannot be how it is meant to be."
And know I kind you not she says "WOW deep dude, but I meant something like someone didn't invent the pizza or something." That was her reply and I just couldn't stop laughing, it was just so small, like a crappy world could be made by the fact that some guy in the past didn't come up with the idea for a pizza. And that a crappy world could not possibly happen by Britain leaving the EU or Donald Trump winning the election, oh no these things do not constitute a shit world but not owning a mobile phone does. Explain this to me please!!!

But this got me thinking because when most people think about a crappy world they think about the one thing they love the most and that not being in that world but I can tell you right now that I could not give a crap about politics, that is just a waste of time and is boring. Yes I know that our country would not be the same without it but dear god do not leave imbeciles in charge of it or allow people that do not know what they are doing to sway the way of the government. But I'm not going to turn this into a political debate because that just sounds boring and I have had enough of it. But for the record should I have been a lowed to vote I would have voting remain.
Where was I, oh yes, I don't know what the one thing in my life is that I could not live without, it feels strange to say that. I truly do not know. I have been on this planet for nearly 17 years and I don't have a thing I could not live without. I would be sad without my puppy but I could still live, my life would not end.

What about you? Do you have something you can't live with out?